Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.
Last edited by hotrod : 03-05-2008 at 08:57 AM.
Reason: incomplete
bahahahaha, here's another :) i guess i'll just add one a day till i get sick of doing it...
Chalkboard Culprit
One day a teacher went into her class room and saw the word, “penis” written in small letters on the chalkboard. She erased it and went on with the day's lesson. The next day, she came in and saw the same word on the chalkbaord, but a little bit bigger. She erased it and went on with her lesson.
Each of the next several days, the teacher would come in to find “penis” on the board, a little larger each time. She went in one morning, expecting to dinf it again, but instead the chalkboard read: “The more you rub it, the bigger it gets.”
Viagra
A man went to the doctor's office to get a doubledose of Viagra. The doctor told him that he couldn't allow him a doubledose. "Why not?" asked the man.
Because it's not safe," replied the doctor. "But I need it really bad," said the man.
"Well, why do you need it so badly?" asked the doctor. The man said, "My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; my ex-wife will be here on Saturday; and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can't you u see? I must have a double dose." The doctor finally relented saying, "Okay, I'll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects." On Monday, the man dragged himself in; his right am in a sling. The doctor asked, "What happened to you?" The man said, "No one showed up".
A wife takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
The 9-year old son comes home early, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
Unexpectedly, the woman's husband also comes home.She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is already in there.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice"
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My Dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250"
Weeks later, it happens that the boy and the lover find themselves in the closet again.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$750"
Man: "Sold"
A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$1,000"
The Dad says, "That's terrible to rip off your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost I'm taking you to church, to confession."
In church, the Dad makes sure the boy goes in to the confessional and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again;
you're in my closet now."
A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price, the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. Upstairs, the wife thinks, "I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself."
So she appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, "Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!"
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Re: A little Adult Humor 
Wheeler 
Linear Mode
