A little Adult Humor » Page 10 » QUADCRAZY ATV Community Forum

mywifeknowseverythin · 04-12-2008, 08:38 AM

Is this what you call STATUEtory RAPE ??

mywifeknowseverythin · 04-12-2008, 08:43 AM

IRS pencil sharpener

mywifeknowseverythin · 04-12-2008, 08:44 AM

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country.
~~~
Well, there's a very simple answer.
~~~
Nobody bothered to check the oil.
~~~
We just didn't know we were getting low.
~~~
The reason for that is purely geographical.
~~~
Our OIL is located in
~~~
ALASKA
~~~
California
~~~
Coastal Florida
~~~
Coastal Louisiana
~~~
Kansas
~~~
Oklahoma
~~~
Pennsylvania
and
Texas
~~~
Our
DIPSTICKS
are located in
Washington, DC !!!

Any Questions ???

mywifeknowseverythin · 04-12-2008, 08:45 AM

A widowed lady was sunbathing on a beach at Ft. Myers, Florida.

She looked up and noticed that a gentleman her age had walked up,
placed his blanket on the sand next to hers, made himself comfortable, and
began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello,
sir, how are you today?"

"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and
turned back to his book.

"I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away 3 years ago and it is
very lonely" she countered. "Do you live around here?" she asked.

"Yes, I live over in Cape Coral," he answered, and again resumed
reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted.
"Do you like pussy cats?"

With that, the man dropped his book, jumped off his blanket and on to
her, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate ride of her
life!

When the cloud of sand began to settle,

she gasped and asked the man,
"How did you know that was what I wanted?"

The man replied,
"How did you know my name was Katz?"

mywifeknowseverythin · 04-12-2008, 08:46 AM

After a relaxing bath...Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself, nude in a mirror...

Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight, was depressing her...

In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help...

'God...If you take away my love handles, I'll devote my life to you,' She prayed...

And just like that... her ears fell off...

mywifeknowseverythin · 04-12-2008, 08:47 AM

At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish.

Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day.!

The gentleman picked the lady up, a nd they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure.

They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady,

'Do you want to go up or down?'

All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat!

When they finished, the man couldn't believe what had just happened, but he had just experienced the best sex that he'd had in years.

They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river.

He again asked the lady, 'Up or down?'

There she went again, stripped off her clothes, and made wild passionate love to him again.

This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so he asked her to go fishing again the next day.

She said yes and there they were the next day, riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in river, and the elderly gentleman asked, 'Up or down ?'

The woman replied, 'Down.'

A little puzzled and disappointed, the gentleman guided the boat down the river when he came upon another fork in the river and he asked the lady, 'Up or down?'

She replied, 'Up.'

This really confused the gentleman so he asked, 'What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made mad passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!'

She replied, 'Well, yesterday I wasn't wearing my hearing aid and I thought the choices were F@#@ or drown.'