A little Adult Humor » Page 9 » QUADCRAZY ATV Community Forum

mywifeknowseverythin · 04-03-2008, 11:05 PM

http://farts.typepad.com/fart-sound-board.swf

wheeler0801 · 04-07-2008, 03:30 PM

wow. that's incredible. one time i found a napoleon dynamite soundboard and prank called people using only what he was saying on the boards. that was funny.

Stoopidbot1 · 04-07-2008, 04:41 PM

We did the same thing with the Governator's voice. Good ol' Arnold.

wheeler0801 · 04-07-2008, 05:17 PM

baaaaaaahaha i'll be back.

An elderly woman comes home and finds her daughter in bed with a vibrator. She screams at her; "What are you doing???" The daughter says, "Mom, I'm 40 years old. I'm not married and I don't have a date. It's the nineties, give me a break!!"
The mother shakes her head and leaves. The next day the father walks in on the daughter and finds the same thing.....he screams "What's going on here???"
The daughter explains the same situation to him....he shakes his head and leaves . That night the mother comes into the kitchen and finds the father sitting at the table, a beer in one hand and the vibrator in the other. She says " What on earth are you doing with that??" The father sits back and replies... " Hey, leave me alone, can't a guy have a beer with his son-in law?"

Stoopidbot1 · 04-07-2008, 06:57 PM

A Mexican, American, and a Russian are having a drink around the camp fire.The Russian says "I would like to take a drink to my country, we were the first in space." They all tip their caps and drink. The American says, "I would like to take a drink to my country, we were the first to walk on the moon." They all tip their caps and take a drink. The Mexican says, "We aint done nothing yet, but we're gonna be the first to land on the sun!" The other men reply,"You can't go to the sun, it's too hot." The Mexican says, "No stupid, we're going at night time!"

Crusty72 · 04-09-2008, 10:35 AM

Subject: Fw: GRANNY'S REVENGE!!!!!!!!!

Defense Attorney:

Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:

I am 76 years old.

Defense Attorney:

Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:

There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring
evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:

Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:

No, but he sure was friendly.

Little Old Lady:

He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:

No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:

Why not?

Little Old Lady:

It felt good! Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 20 years ago.

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Little Old Lady:

He began to touch my breasts.

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:

No, I certainly did not!

Defense Attorney:

Well, why not?

Little Old Lady:

His touching made me feel all alive and excited! I haven't felt that good in
years!!

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Little Old Lady:

Well, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me,
young man! Take me now!'

Defense Attorney:

And did he "take" you?

Little Old Lady:

Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fools!"

And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.......

Crusty72 · 04-09-2008, 10:38 AM

BathtubTest

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked
the Director how they determine whether or not a
patient should be institutionalized.

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then
we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the
patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person
would use the bucket because it's bigger than the
spoon or the teacup.'

'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull
the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'

ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED
NEXT TO MINE ?

wheeler0801 · 04-09-2008, 11:58 AM

wow Crusty, great jokes. I love the Little Old Lady one!!

DrtyGrlKristin · 04-09-2008, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crusty72

Subject: Fw: GRANNY'S REVENGE!!!!!!!!!

Defense Attorney:

Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:

I am 76 years old.

Defense Attorney:

Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:

There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring
evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:

Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:

No, but he sure was friendly.

Little Old Lady:

He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:

No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:

Why not?

Little Old Lady:

It felt good! Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 20 years ago.

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Little Old Lady:

He began to touch my breasts.

Defense Attorney:

Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:

No, I certainly did not!

Defense Attorney:

Well, why not?

Little Old Lady:

His touching made me feel all alive and excited! I haven't felt that good in
years!!

Defense Attorney:

What happened next?

Little Old Lady:

Well, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me,
young man! Take me now!'

Defense Attorney:

And did he "take" you?

Little Old Lady:

Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fools!"

And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.......

mywifeknowseverythin · 04-12-2008, 08:35 AM

A woman asked her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?" she asks.

He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunch time, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?" she inquires.

He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food."

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like maybe a juicy porterhouse steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?"

He declines again. "Naw, still not hungry"

"Well," she says, "Would you mind letting me up? I'm starving!"