If men wrote advice columns » QUADCRAZY ATV Community Forum

HvPhotog · 03-30-2008, 10:54 AM

If Men Wrote Advice Columns

Q: My husband wants a three-some with my best friend and me.

A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you’re sill not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice dinner while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

A: Do it! Semen can help you loose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing oral sex on him twice a day: than cooking him a nice meal

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster and more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two ( it’s a great time for you to clean the house too) Just look how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing for you to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Than cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn’t know where my clitoris is.

A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to video tape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky request for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your husband as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm and than rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

A: I’m not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you’ve forgotten to cook him a nice meal.