Search the Community

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. < 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." 16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." 17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace". 19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol. 21. Practice making fax and modem noises. 22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss. 23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person." 26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy." 27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. 28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. 31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice. 32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." 34. Drum on every available surface. 35. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates. 37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings. 38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks. 39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 41. Set alarms for random times. 42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. 43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving. 44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 45. Honk and wave to strangers. 46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange. 47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies. 49. Wear your pants backwards. 50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!" 52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. 53. only type in lowercase. 54. dont use any punctuation either 55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 56. Pay for your dinner with pennies. 57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps. 60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories. 61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now." 62. Light road flares on a birthday cake. 63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador." 66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. 68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One." 69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. 71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. 72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 73. Drive half a block. 74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 75. Ask people what gender they are. 76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back. 77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl. 78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes". 79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet. 81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. 83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a." 84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 86. Wear a LOT of cologne. 87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." 88. Sing along at the opera. 89. Mow your lawn with scissors. 90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!" 91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." 94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture." 95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 96. Never make eye contact. 97. Never break eye contact. 98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

Ways to Beef-up Your ATV With new ATVs coming out every year, a quad that is king of the mountain one year may fall back to the middle of the pack the next year. And, of course, the more you ride and get comfortable with your ATV, the braver you are going to get and eventually reach a point when you have perfected the art of riding and run into a mud pit you cant cross or notice that some other quads can get the jump on you. Many people simply trade their quad when this happens, but there are a lot of things you can do to your quad to get even more power or custom tune your ATV to suit the terrain in your area or your riding style. One of the easiest ways to tailor your quad to local riding conditions is to simply change your how you grip the ground. There is a large variety of tires on the market that are made for extreme mudding, sand, and all out speed over any terrain. The most obvious factor you can change about your tires is the tread pattern. Mud tires will typically have a deep, well-spaced tread with a lot of surface area, which allows it to push against slippery mud. Although tread pattern comes into play when playing in the mud, so does sidewall strength and tire thickness. A mud tire with a thicker sidewall will give you more consistent performance when youre axle deep in sludge. Many people find that lighter rims also give them a slight edge in the mud. Like mud, getting through sand is made much easier with tread that can push and grab a lot of sand. However, if youre trying to get faster, especially through the corners, you might benefit from a knobby open-patterned tire that is designed to grip trails without deep mud pits. You can also get tires to make the ride a little softer or give you a firmer grip, but the tires only affect how you grip the trail. Sometimes its necessary add some muscle to your quad to get the performance youre looking for. Although there were once many people who would change sprockets to get more low-end power or top-end speed out of their quads, most of todays quads have balanced gearing based on weight, engine power, and what it was designed to do. Many riders find that tinkering with sprockets dont change their quads performance characteristics as much as theyd like, and instead turn to performance modifications to squeeze more power from their ride. Although you can go deep into your engine and change cams and other parts that will make your engine even more stout, you can get noticeable results from more affordable and less complicated modifications. The easiest way to get more power from your quad is by adjusting the airflow through your engine. Simply changing the intake on your quad will give you an increase in power because you force more oxygen into the combustion chamber. Switching to a less restrictive exhaust will get more power to your wheels since the engine doesnt have to work as hard to breathe. Headers are another bolt-on modification that will let your engine work more efficiently and add power to your quad. One popular modification that makes it possible to take on really deep mud holes is a snorkel kit and exhaust extension. A risk you run when diving into mud is that you will suck some mud through your intake, or it will enter your engine through your exhaust. Getting mud or water in your engine will shut it down in a hurry and may require a trip to the shop to get all the water out of your engine. A snorkel kit may be necessary to get through some mud holes you encounter when riding. Regardless of what kind of quad you ride, with the horde of new ATVs that come out year after year, sooner or later it will fall to the middle of the pack. The good news is that aftermarket parts are also getting better all the time, which allows you to custom tune your quad without breaking the bank. Ways to Beef-up Your ATV | ATV Reviews

http://www.atvillustrated.com/FeaturedStories/StoryDetails.aspx?storyid=216