Lets hear your jokes!

[Guest Fox300exchic]

If big boobed women work at Hooters

Where do one legged women

work??

.

(Give up?....Scroll down)

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I HOP!

[Guest Fox300exchic]

HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS Actual writings from hospital charts:

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was

very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it

disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be

depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but

forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until

she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical

therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

[Guest Fox300exchic]

In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name.

For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of acetaminophen.

Aleve is also called naproxen. Amoxil is also called amoxicillin and Advil is also

called ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Vi****. After careful consideration

by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the

generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin,

Mydixadud, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix and, of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Vi**** will soon be available in liquid form and

will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously, we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning

to the names of "cocktails," "highballs," and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink."

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of "MOUNT & DO..."

[CK1999_400ex]

another dug up by the post miner ...

[marioweldinginc]

If big boobed women work at Hooters

Where do one legged women

work??

.

(Give up?....Scroll down)

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I HOP!

A one legged woman can work at hooters if she wants to.

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[oxidized_black]

what is the name you would call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? >>> ilene

what is the name you would call a chinese woman with one leg shorter than the other? >>> irene

[oxidized_black]

**NEWS FLASH** corduroy pillow cases making headlines

Edited December 16, 2011 by oxidized_black

[oxidized_black]

did you hear about the guy who suffered from dyslexia and insomnia?

yah, stayed awake at night wondering if there was a dog ....

[oxidized_black]

what's green and slimey and smells like bacon?

kermits' finger .... whoa!

[oxidized_black]

anyone know the definition of twin lesbians?

lick alikes

[oxidized_black]

what is the difference between light and hard?

you can go to sleep with the light on ...

[oxidized_black]

how do you keep a bunch of quad guys in suspense ?

i'll tell you tomorrow... LOL

[oxidized_black]

do you know what bigger women and mopeds have in common?

they're both fun to ride until your friends see you

[marioweldinginc]

No tell us now!

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[oxidized_black]

No tell us now!

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i'll tell you tomorrow...

that's it... shall i explain? LOL

[marioweldinginc]

Damnit i dont have a come back - touche!

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[oxidized_black]

ok now, i have a funny one but i don't want to hear bad feedback, but it's cute and not meant to offend ... ok people?

why do italian guys grow mustaches?

***with italian accent and hand gestures***

because they want to look just like their momma...

[marioweldinginc]

Hey!! I resemble that remark

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[oxidized_black]

hahahahaha, i for warned .... it's cute though .... you gotta admit that .... and it wasn't a dig ....

[oxidized_black]

ok, an american and canadian were out moose hunting, each was on the other side of this big bull moose. both men at the same time squeezed off their round. the big moose dropped and both ran over to claim it. a big arguement started of who's it was. the canadian said, we can settle this pretty easily, lets just kick each other in the groin until the last man is standing, and he can claim it. the american agreed and said the canadian could go first. the canadian booted him and he dropped like a ton of bricks. finally the american was back on his feet and said, i guess it's my turn now. the canadian looked at him with a grin and said, nah take the friggin thing, you can have it.... AHAHAHAHAHA

[marioweldinginc]

hahahahaha, i for warned .... it's cute though .... you gotta admit that .... and it wasn't a dig ....

I just told my wife that joke and got the evil eye. She is full Italian but she was laughing

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[oxidized_black]

right on! don't want to rock the boat with no one...

dave chappelle has to be the best guy in the world who pokes as much fun at other races, as he does his own... god bless that man!

[rappy97]

Italians are so loud also...

[marioweldinginc]

Italians are so loud also...

So are any foreigners..

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[oxidized_black]

hehehehehe

[rappy97]

So are any foreigners..

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Not Even true at all....

[marioweldinginc]

Not Even true at all....

Your the expert

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[rappy97]

Your the expert

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Well, ive met Germans, Norwegians, and Russians, and Italians seem to be the loudest. Nothing racist. Just saying.

[marioweldinginc]

Well im italian and russian so im louder than most but quieter than full italians

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[marioweldinginc]

ok, an american and canadian were out moose hunting, each was on the other side of this big bull moose. both men at the same time squeezed off their round. the big moose dropped and both ran over to claim it. a big arguement started of who's it was. the canadian said, we can settle this pretty easily, lets just kick each other in the groin until the last man is standing, and he can claim it. the american agreed and said the canadian could go first. the canadian booted him and he dropped like a ton of bricks. finally the american was back on his feet and said, i guess it's my turn now. the canadian looked at him with a grin and said, nah take the friggin thing, you can have it.... AHAHAHAHAHA

Thats one is a keeper :-)

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