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Great sayings by police officers These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country: #16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through." #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while." # 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." #12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." #11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" #10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?" #9 "Warning?” You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again, or I'll give you another ticket." #8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey crap." #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC." #4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?" #3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We use d to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can." #2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail." AND THE WINNER IS... #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Police Radar can be hazardous to the Police (UNCLASSIFIED) Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement On I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station at Miramar. One of the Officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles Approaching the crest of a hill. The officers were suddenly surprised when The radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour. The officer attempted to Reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then turned off. Just then a Deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked On to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near The location. Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander. The reply came back in true USMC style: Thank you for Your letter. We can now complete the file on this incident. You may be Interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the Presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and Automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down. Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had Also automatically locked on to your equipment location. Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, Quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to Override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to Destroy the hostile radar position. The pilot also suggests you cover your Mouths when cussing at them, since the video systems on these jets are very High tech. Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get His dentist to check his left rear molar . It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster. Thank you for your concern. Semper F I. Classification: UNCLASSIFIED

I have about 500 acres behind my house that is state land and have been riding on the property for the last 18 years. I know pretty much all the cops that patrol it and have always pulled over to talk with them. They have always been really nice guys. Well about 3 months ago while riding one the fire roads there was this new cop pulled over in a Jeep and I pulled up to him to talk and he jumped out with his hand on his gun and told me to get off my quad. After I got my helmet off and he saw I was in my 40's he just told me not to ride by the state run hospital and to be on my way. Well yesterday I went for a quick ride and as I broke into this one field (nowhere near the hospital) I looked off to my left and saw this Police Jeep coming right at me at a high rate of speed, for a second I was going to just pull over to talk and I saw it was this same cop and there was no way he was going to be able to stop without hitting me so I hit the throttle and made this quick right and than a quick left onto another trail off this field. Well when I turned back to look he was bearing down on me trying to run me down. I than just hit the throttle hard blasted into a small swamp area and flew through the trails. I looked back and he never made it through the swamp. I made it back home but I had to take a bunch of different trails to get there and I was on High Alert waiting for this nut case cop to come flying out and mow me down. I called a cop friend of mine when I got home and he told me that this cop was kicked out of another police dept. because he's a few sandwiches short of a picnic and he is just finishing his time at the state run hopital until he retires. I just hope he retires soon

Five Police officers have been assasinated in the state of Washington in a month, not killed in the line of duty in a shootout or something, but blatantly assasinated. On halloween, a Seattle P.D. training officer was shot dead in a patrol car. Just last sunday, another man shot four Lakewood officers were shot dead in a coffee shop. Things were absolutely nuts around here for days after each shooting, as cop swarmed in large groups to investigate any tips that they got. There were police everywere I went. Times are tough and people are going nuts, I hope this does not catch on and become a regular thing. Assassination: Seattle Cop Timothy Brenton Murdered in Drive-By - True Crime Report Police: Suspect dead, had slain cop's gun - CNN.com

The Lost Trails at the Inn at Pocono manor, near Long Pond PA, will be the site of a benefit ride for the family of a police officer and fellow ATV rider killed in the line of duty. Officer Chris Jones of the Middleton Township police department was killed during a routine traffic stop. His fellow officers and riding buddies are organizing this benefit ride to help the family he left behind. Please come out and ride if you can. They will also be raffling off a King Quad 400 for their benefit. Below is the forwarded ride information: Officer Chris Jones Memorial ATV Ride Saturday May 9, 2009 at Lost Trails ATV Park In the Poconos Come join us for a day of trail riding in Lost Trails' 1200 wooded acres, raffle prizes and a 50/50 Your $35 entrance fee gives you access to miles of trails ranging from easy to outrageous and a portion of all entrance fees on this date will be donated to Officer Jones' family Middletown Township Police Officer Chris Jones was killed in the line of duty on the morning of January 29, 2009 while conducting a routine traffic stop on Rt. 1 Superhighway near I-95. As Officer Jones was returning to his patrol vehicle after concluding the traffic stop a vehicle crashed into the rear of his patrol vehicle pushing the patrol vehicle into Officer Jones. He was rushed to St. Mary Medical Center in Langhorne where he died a short time later. Chris was a ten year veteran of the department, a field training officer and a member of the department's ATV patrol unit. Chris spearheaded the department's ATV Patrol Unit, researching and writing the proposal, which later became the basis for the foundation of the unit. Chris is a Gulf War Veteran, serving seven years in the U.S. Navy before pursuing a career in law enforcement. He is survived by his wife and three children. Please come out and help us support this worthy cause For more information call Pete at 267-252-5494 or Mike at 267-249-4426 For Lost Trails information or Directions go to Ride Lost Trails ATV Park (You must bring your own ATV, there are no rentals available at Lost Trails) Raffle Information: A fellow rider and I have arranged to raffle off a King Quad 400 with the proceeds benefiting the Jones family. Win a New Suzuki King Quad 400 ATV* All Proceeds Benefit the Family of Fallen Middletown Police Officer Chris Jones Tickets $25, Limited to 400 Tickets Sponsored by Bromley’s Suzuki For Tickets Contact Pete at 267-252-5494 or Mike at 267-249-4426 or E-mail [email protected] for more information. Drawing to be held July 4, 2009 *A minimum of 250 tickets must be sold for ATV to be awarded *If less than 250 tickets are sold the prize awarded will be a cash prize equal to 50% of the value of tickets sold (A 50/50) * Winner is responsible for all sales tax, title and registration fees Cash value of ATV may be applied to other new ATVs or motorcycles sold at Bromley’s

With a record 52 fatalities so far this year, the West Virginia State Police asked the Legislature on Monday to pass tougher all-terrain vehicle laws - starting with an outright ban of ATVs from paved roads.Comment More...