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Showing results for tags 'dad'.
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Poem to MOM My son came home from school one day, With a smirk upon his face. He decided he was smart enough, To put me in my place. 'Guess what I learned in Civics Two, that's taught by Mr. Wright? It's all about the laws today, The 'Children's Bill of Rights.' It says I need not clean my room, Don't have to cut my hair No one can tell me what to think, Or speak, or what to wear. I have freedom from religion, And regardless what you say, I don't have to bow my head, And I sure d on't have to pray. I can wear earrings if I want, And pierce my tongue & nose. I can read & watch just what I like, Get tattoos from head to toe. And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crime. I'll back up all my charges, With the marks on my behind. Don't you ever touch me, My body's only for my use, Not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse. Don't preach about your morals, Like your Mama did to you. That's nothing more than mind control, And it's illegal too! Mom, I have these children's rights, So you can't influence me, Or I'll call Children's Services Division, Better known as C.S.D.' Mom's Reply and Thoughts Of course my first instinct was To toss him out the door. But the chance to teach him a lesson Made me think a little more. I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go. A smile crept upon my face, he's messing with a pro. Next day I took him shopping At the local Goodwill Store.. I told him, 'Pick out all you want, there's shirts & pants galore. I've called and checked with C.S.D .. Who said they didn't care If I bought you K-Mart shoes Instead of those Nike Airs. I've canceled that appointment To take your driver's test. The C.S.D. Is unconcerned So I'll decide what's best. ' I said 'No time to stop and eat, Or pick up stuff to munch. And tomorrow you can start to learn To make your own sack lunch. Just save the raging appetite, And wait till dinner time. We're having liver and onions, A favorite dish of mine.' H e asked 'Can I please rent a movie, To watch on my VCR?' 'Sorry, but I sold your TV, For new tires on my car. I also rented out your room, You'll take the couch instead. The C .S.D. Requires Just a roof over your head. Your clothing won't be trendy now, I'll choose what we eat. That allowance that you used to get, Will buy me something neat. I'm selling off your jet ski, Dirt-bike & roller blades. Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights', It's in effect today! Hey hot shot, are you crying, Why are you on your knees? Are you asking God to help you out, Instead of C.S.D..?'
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A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his Bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, Propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the Worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter. Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion - Dad, she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack Of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit, so that you can get to know your grandchildren. Love, Your son John PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.