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A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment". The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect". He never heard the shot............ But wait, there's more...... Mildred, 93, was despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl, so she decided to just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to learn her heart's exact location. Since you're a woman," the doctor said, "your heart is just below your left breast. Why do you ask?" Mildred hung-up without answering. Later that night Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.