Quantcast
Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Guest Fox300exchic
Posted

Maybe kids today aren't getting dumber. Maybe they're just getting funnier! Enjoy these analogies and metaphors found in actual high school essays.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country, speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for awhile.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

  • 4 years later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Similar Forum Topics

    • By Callaway
      I am trying to diagnose a no spark issue with my 02 Big Bear 400 and I am really hoping it is not a CDI.  I have done the test on the stator and I believe that is faulty.  I ordered a new aftermarket one from a the jungle website and it tested bad right out of the box so I am waiting for a different one to arrive from an ATV parts supplier.  I started looking out of curiosity at CDI units and it seems if it is for a big bear you are SOL.  Kodiaks, no problem.  Big Bear. No such luck.  
    • By jordan_ATV
      I got a 2005 350 Raptor Special Edition and I'm dealing with a no start issue; the weirdest thing is when I'm cranking it fires and slows down showing signs of pre firing, smoke shoots out the carburetor every time it sparks. every electrical part (CDI, Rectifier, Stator, Coil) has been swapped out from previous owner, the top end of the engines all new and I cleaned the carb out, anyone got any ideas or similar problems, also is it possible to have a bad spark timing
    • By Gwbarm
      I pulled out my Big Bear needed to do a few things probably havent been started in a year. Gassed it up charged the battery started right up. I have been using it around the property for this and that. Went to hook up my trailer to pull up to the house while it was idling it quit. Went to start it turned over but wouldnt start. After trying a few more times lost all power. Pulled it up to the house with the John Deere, the first thing i checked was the Universal fit soloenoil from Amazon and it was only a 10 AMP fuse so it does not universally fit the big bear it should be 30 AMP fuse. At the time i remember noticing it but forgot, at the time i had other problems like wiring harness being in a box stuck engine and no spark. when i bought it, yeah i know, thats one ishould have walked away from, but if i go to the trouble of hooking up my trailer and going there, its following me home.
      Thats old news, i still need to check it all out see if it lost spark and see if the starter shorted out it was acting kind of sluggish, i replaced the fuse with the spare 10 amp and blew immediately. I will try a 30 and see what happens.
    • By paradiseestatesales
      Howdy, look forward to all knowledge available here
    • By JPRICE1981
      Hello everyone !! Looking for some help !! Im wanting to check my stator and pick up coil with a ohm meter and cant seem to find a guide that tells me what to read and what my reading should be !! Any help would be great !! THANKS IN ADVANCE !!
×
×
  • Create New...