mywifeknowseverythin

Now here is a Cool Little Video....Looks like alot of Fun:cool:

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjvWOzBpSX4]YouTube - ATV QUAD MUDDIN' AND CLIMBIN'[/ame]

Yeah,,,,There is Stupid People Everywhere....LOL!@!!!!

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUrRB-PBn_4]YouTube - ATV SAND DRAG RACING[/ame]

:d :d

Are Dangerous

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZC7BKvVZws]YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.[/ame]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsMeplRZNqE]YouTube - eddie's crash[/ame]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yr_Zm9blHqE]YouTube - crash[/ame]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCkRMXx-sSs]YouTube - ATV crash[/ame]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kb_u40Qjeqo]YouTube - Backyard ATV crash[/ame]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1pTL8pibwE]YouTube - Atv Crash!!![/ame]

AND!!!!!!!!!! Im still working on this!!!!!!!!!!

1987 Ninja 759 Drag Trike:D

Finally got around to working on my Drag Z again today....Installed the Swingarm Bearings in my Custom Aluminum +12 Swinger and got it on the Bike...Now the Rest of the bike looks like crap in comparison....Time to Spit Shine....This particular bike Ive been working on for over 3 yrs....I started with nothing but a Frame....Everything is Custom Made....there are a Handful of people in the World with the same parts on this bike....Germany, Australia, Virginia, Florida and now CA....

Very Nice Rides but nothing new....We've been doing it for Years:D

Two Bikes out the Hole!!!!!

GIT IT RAGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Incredible story about an elephant's memory UPI July 3, 2006

A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college.

While he was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull

elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a

large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.

As carefully and as gently as he could he worked the thorn out with His

hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The

elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its

face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen --

thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later the man was walking through the zoo with his

teenaged son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned

and walked over to where they are standing at the rail.

The large bull elephant stared at him and lifted it's front foot off the

ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times, all the

while staring at the man. The man couldn't help wondering if this was

the same elephant.

After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.

The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his

way into the enclosure.

He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of

the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing,

killing him.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador

Retriever and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment".

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect".

He never heard the shot............

But wait, there's more......

Mildred, 93, was despondent over the recent death of her

husband Earl, so she decided to just kill herself and join

him in death.

Thinking it would be best to get it over with quickly, she

took out Earl's old army pistol and made the decision to

shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in

the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a

vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her

doctor's office to learn her heart's exact location.

Since you're a woman," the doctor said, "your heart is

just below your left breast. Why do you ask?"

Mildred hung-up without answering. Later that night

Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot

wound to her knee.

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.

I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....."he sighed, . "let 's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.

A gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an attractive woman

he spotted dining alone. The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said,

"This is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender.

She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and

decided to send a reply note. The waiter, who was lingering for a response,

took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman. The note read:

"For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a

million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants."

After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return

He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return

this to the woman. It read:

"For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes

CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my garage. There is over twenty million dollars

in my bank account. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I

cut three inches off. Just send the bottle back."

They just dont know where to go Without us....WE lead the way:D

When Trikes take over the Dunes.....Quads just dont know what to do:D

Here is one of my Wife's Quad....And her at the bottom of a Dune in Florence Or.

If I told you that then you wouldnt look forward to me posting them:D

Now go find some Freakin Smilies:D

A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter

who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket, it seemed a little strange.

When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in

his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well, 'he explained, "The restaurant's owners hired Price Waterhouse Coopers to

revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the

spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of

approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we

can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare.

"I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an trip right now."

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.

Looking round, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.

So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you

have that string right there?" "Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone

is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time

in the restroom by tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without

touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the

restroom by 76.39 percent. " I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing

like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has

his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No, no, no, you're

gripping the club way too hard!"

"Well, what should I do?", asks the man.

"Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's

breast."

Taking the advice, he takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yards

straight up the fairway. The estatic man goes back to his wife with the good

news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson.

The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches her swing and

says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."

"What can I do?" asks the wife.

"Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's pe***."

The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP --

the ball skips down the fairway about 15 feet.

"You know, that was a lot better than I expected," the pro says. "Now, take

the club out of your mouth and hold it in your hands..."

Becoming Illegal (From a Maryland resident to his senator)

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes

Senate Office Building

309 Hart

Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Pete McGlaughlin

Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service 1-800-289-1040.

Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great offer!!!!

Working people frequently ask retired people what

they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day Gladys and I went

into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about

5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a

parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about

giving a senior citizen a break? " He ignored us and continued writing

the ticket. I called him a Na** turd. He glared at me and

started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So Gladys called him a shithead. He finished the second ticket and put

it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third

ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the

more tickets he wrote.

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's

important at our age.

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living

objects are actually either male or female.

Here are some examples

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold

everythingin, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned

off, it takes a while to warm them up again.

They are an effective reproductive device if the

right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong

buttons.

TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and

are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get

them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their arse

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable

and retain water.

WEB PAGES:

Female, because they're constantly being looked at and

frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the

same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time,

all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years,

they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought

it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd

be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to

push, he just keeps trying

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"

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Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S.Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green.

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000

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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day

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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."

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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."

It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

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Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.

www.c4wkg0blin.com/breasttest.html