Quantcast
Jump to content

  • Join Today, It's Simple and FREE!

    As a member, you can post in our forums, upload your photos and videos, use and contribute to our downloads, create your own member page, add your ATV events, and even start your own ATV club to host your own club forum and gallery.  Registration is fast and you can even login with social network accounts to sync your profiles and content.

Recommended Posts

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week..

Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

Keep reading-they get better!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.

As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.

'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.

I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

Pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root,

And still be afraid of a spider.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,

Joe and his wife Ann listened to the instructor,

'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes..'

He addressed the man,

'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles..

The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.

He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife...

She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store

To get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco

And some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own . So does she.

(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

Neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

The husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men..

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be

So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who

Should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first,

And then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee..

The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and

You should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.'

Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.'

Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.'

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

And were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him

At 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,

'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,

when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

God may have created man before woman,

but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Similar Topics

    • By Chris Stokes
      What is a good option for a 13 year old that is dying to get her very own atv to ride? Thanks in advance for your recommendations. I currently own a Polaris Sportsman 570 and have been happy with the Polaris sportsman line but have ruled out other brands.
    • By Dimelol
      I have been working on my quad for a while trying to get it running right. It seems as if I run into a new issue as soon as I resolve the old one. Anyway, the other day I went to fire up my quad and the battery was completely dead. I knew it was on it's last leg, so I went ahead and swapped it out think it was the issue. After sitting for a couple of days without running the machine at all, the new battery was drained as well, not completely dead like the old one but weak enough not to turn the engine over. When I removed the new battery to put it on the charger I noticed a clicking sound when I was removing the negative connection. After fooling around with it for a bit I tracked down where the sound is coming from (see pic) it was also warm to the touch. I have no idea what this thing or or what purpose it serves but should it be clicking as soon as I connect the battery? Could this be the cause of my battery being drained? Thanks for the help, I'm not the most experienced when it comes to tracking down electrical issues.

    • By Monika Novakov
      1988 Kawasaki 220 Bayou trying to remove generator/ starter 1way clutch cover to be able to replace 1way clutch. All bolts are removed case cover is dripping what oil that remains...but I can't get the cover to come off..what am I missing? Thx in advance.
    • By Steve Howard
      Ran find shut down the quad next day would start and idle when you try to accelerate it would start popping through the carb got a rebuild kit soaked it in chem clean after break down for 12 hours on slow vibrate reassembled and adjusted per manual still the same thing any help would be really appreciated thanks and happy ridding  
    • By JacobSlabach
      recently picked up some project bikes off CL for cheap.  got a honda fourtrax (the ancient 4x4 kind with the straight axle in the front as well as the rear and a back-up kick-start)  plastics are crap, but my goal is to get running like a champ and patch the plastics up and sell to one of my many friends that want a reliable 4x4 for dirt cheap and doesnt care what it looks like.
      so the former owner says it needs carb rebuilt, but its sat for 3+ years since so who knows.  things I see:  carb is missing (he gave me a box of parts along with the bike), engine turns over and feels good with kick-start, brakes need work, battery missing (That always puts me off, cause then I know most likely someone's been tampering with the electrical.
  • Similar Tagged Content

    • By CJRenaJohnson
      I am a journalist and am always looking for great stories about women and ATVing ... so if you any of you have any great story ideas or concerns that should be addressed in the media ... let me know :-) Have an awesome day!
    • By Ajmboy
      Funny video...

    • By Alaskasunrise
      Hi everyone! I used to ride dirtbikes when I was a kid, even though I had alot of problems with my right leg. In 2004, after a bone infection in my knee, my right leg had to be amputated. I thought I would never ride off road again. After a friend convinced me to try an ATV, I was hooked! Soon after I was the proud owner of a Grizzly 700. I love getting out on the trails again! Hope to talk to you soon.
      Take care, A.S.
    • By mywifeknowseverythin
      [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHcDP_Yew-g&NR=1]YouTube - MythBusters - Do Pretty Girls Fart?[/ame]
    • By mywifeknowseverythin
      A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment".
      The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect".
      He never heard the shot............
      But wait, there's more......
      Mildred, 93, was despondent over the recent death of her
      husband Earl, so she decided to just kill herself and join
      him in death.
      Thinking it would be best to get it over with quickly, she
      took out Earl's old army pistol and made the decision to
      shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in
      the first place.
      Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a
      vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her
      doctor's office to learn her heart's exact location.
      Since you're a woman," the doctor said, "your heart is
      just below your left breast. Why do you ask?"
      Mildred hung-up without answering. Later that night
      Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot
      wound to her knee.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.


×
×
  • Create New...