Quantcast
Jump to content

From the Diary of Stoopidbot

mywifeknowseverythin
 Share

Recommended Posts

mywifeknowseverythin Grand Master

mywifeknowseverythin

Posted
Posted

December 8 - 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down fro m heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9 We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12 The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14 Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish l wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska , after all.

December 16 Ice storm this morning. Fell on my as* on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17 Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20 Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22 Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white S$#% fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the as***** is lying.

December 23 Only 2 inches of snow today . And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24

6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bi*** who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25 Merry freaking Christmas!

2 0 more inches of the damn slop tonight -Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch 'It's A Wonderful Life' one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26 Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27 Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28 Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BI*** is driving me crazy!!!

December 29

10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30 Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his as*. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31 I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

wheeler0801 Mentor

wheeler0801

Posted
Posted

that's freakin' hilarious....i hope you didn't take the time to actually write all that, although it was very entertaining to sit and read...

i'm not sure if kristin's goin to like being called a bbbbwordd ;) bahhahaa.

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


  • Similar Forum Topics

    • Mikey509
      First time quad owner looking for advice!
      By Mikey509
      Hi guys, I was given a 2000 Honda Recon fourtrax 250 (I think that's the full name lol). The previous owner had it sitting for a while before I got it. It sat for another few years in my ownership. I got it up and going on its first test drive today!! I was wondering where everyone buys their parts from?  Coming from the car community, we have sites like RockAuto and many more. Anything like that for quads? Also would like to be pointed in a direction, if possible, for plastics. I am missing a few and would like to have it complete. I appreciate any input!
    • AnthonyT
      First time ATV buyer
      By AnthonyT
      In search of my first ATV? What are good older 4x4 models?
    • Frank Angerano
      My first trailer project.
      By Frank Angerano
      So I decided to pick up a small trailer if I could get one for the right price.  I found this one for a few hundred bucks on Craig’s list.  It is  a galvanized trailer which is exactly what I was looking for. The wood was shot and needed some minor repairs which I could care less about as long as the chassis was good. 
      I striped it down and put a new deck on. I had some vinyl realtree graphics that I had laying around so I added them to the fenders which I think worked out well. Very happy with this little guy.  
      I'm having the iron workers at my jobmake me up a few lightweight side rails that will have a 22 degree bend in them to accommodate the tires that slightly hang over the edge and will incorporate some tie down points as well. 








    • Heymax
      Joined today, just bought my first ATV
      By Heymax
      I bought a 2003 Bombardier Quest XT 650
    • Its-always-something
      98 arctic cat 300 2x4 hi rev choke when started
      By Its-always-something
      Have a 1998 AC 300 2x4, Just installed a new carburetor. Engine starts easy but the choke RPMs are very hi and take along time (5-10 mins when cold out). After engine has warmed up choke releases and it idles and runs fine., It does no have an electric choke. The choke lever is never used and it seems like an auto choke? Long story short, how can I lower the choke rpm levels?
       
      Also, carb came with a spare145 jet, not 100% sure what is installed. Could this impact choke RPMs?
       
       
      Any help and information greatly appreciated.

COMMUNITY SECTIONS

ATV FORUMS

QUADCRAZY MEMBERSHIP

Be a part of best online community of ATV riders and join thousands of people who love ATVs! Share your ATV photos, videos, ATV rides, get help with your ATV and more. Not a member?

SIGN UP TODAY

ADVERTISE WITH US

FOLLOW US ON

  • Automotive Webmaster
×
×
  • Create New...