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Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:

The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a

CHANGE!

The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he

recognized

the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with

all the chickens

on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little

chicken to cross the road.

This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure

-- right from Day One!

-- that every chicken in this country gets the chance

it deserves to cross the road.

But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't

realize that he must

first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road

before it goes

after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road.

What we need to do is

help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking

on his 'CURRENT'

problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:

Well, I understand that the chicken is having

problems, which is why he

wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having

the chicken learn

from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of

life, I'm going to

give this chicken a car so that he can just drive

across the road and

not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.

We just want to

know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or

not. The chicken is

either against us, or for us. There is no middle

ground here.

COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the

satellite image

of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we

have not yet been

allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I

am now against it!

It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about

the chicken's

intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain

against it.

NANCY GRACE:

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You

can see it in his

eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was

going. I had a

standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs

when the price

dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any

insider

information.

DR SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a

toad? Yes, the

chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not

been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the

road. Somebody told

us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good

enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be

listening to the

chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming

story of how it

experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to

accomplish its

life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads

together, in peace.

BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only

cross roads, but

will lay eggs, file your important documents, and

balance your check

book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the

Chicken. This new

platform is much more stable and will never

cra...#@&&^(C% .........

reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road

move beneath the

chicken?

BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is

your definition of

chicken?

AL GORE:

I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:

Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:

Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

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