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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so

much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I

have never figured out why men think with their head and women with

their heart.


One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the

passion starts to heat up, when she eventually says "I don't feel like

it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to

hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman

enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to

my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not

what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to

happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with

her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on

several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one

to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to

compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of

diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one

wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because

she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play

tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,

honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction

from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she

finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't

feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped

with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a

while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough

for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,

"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy


Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.


Got Toyz?

A bunch of Toys and a Truck to haul em around with.

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