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Harold is 95 years old and lives in a senior citizen center. Every night

after dinner he goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and

ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to

chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short

lull in their conversation Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know

what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?"

"Sex!" he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old coot, you couldn't get it up if I held a

gun to your head!"

"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold

it for a while."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his

manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly

each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would

hold Harold's manhood.

Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place.

Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. She

walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the

pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's


Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have

that I don't have?"

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."

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