Quantcast
Jump to content

100 Reasons why its cool to be a Guy!!


Recommended Posts

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

2. Movie nudity is virtually all female.

3. You know stuff about tanks.

4. A five-day vacation only requires 1 suitcase.

5. Monday Night Football.

6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.

7. Your bathroom lines are 80 percent shorter.

8. You can open all your own jars.

9. Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.

10. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.

11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.

12. Your as* is never a factor in job interviews.

13. All your orgasms are real.

14. A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.

15. You can talk freely about the foulest things with your mates... and laugh!

16. You don't have to lug a bag full of useful stuff everywhere you go.

17. You understand why Stripes is funny.

18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

19. Your last name stays put.

20. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

22. You can kill your own food.

23. The garage is all yours.

24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

27. You never have to clean a toilet.

28. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.

29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

32. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

33. The National College Cheerleading Championship.

34. You don't have to shave below your neck.

35. None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.

36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy as* every night.

37. If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.

38. You can write your name in the snow.

39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.

40. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

41. Chocolate is just another snack.

42. You can be President. (In this lifetime.)

43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

44. Flowers fix damn near everything.

45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

46. You get to think about sex 90 percent of your waking hours.

47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

48. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

50. You can say anything ("Wow, do my balls hurt!") and not worry about what people will think.

51. Foreplay is optional.

52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.

54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

55. You don't have to clean your house if the meter reader's coming by.

56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

58. You don't give a rat's as* if anyone notices your new haircut.

59. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, 'He must be mad at me'.

60. The world is your urinal.

61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about to leave you.

62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.

63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

64. One mood, all the time!

65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

66. You never have to drive on to another service station because this ones 'just too yucky'.

67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you're wearing.

69. Same work.... more pay!

70. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

72. Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental; $75.

73. You don't care if someone's talking about you behind your back.

74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.

76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

77. The remote control is yours and yours alone.

78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

79. ESPN's SportsCenter

80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

81. Bachelor parties whomp as* over bridal showers.

82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friend you've changed.

86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase, "Sod it".

88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.

89. Princess Di's death was just another obituary.

90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.

92. you think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

93. If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.

94. New shoes don't blister, cut or mangle your feet.

95. Po** movies are designed with your mind in mind.

96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

97. Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them.

98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"

99. Baywatch

100. There's always a game on somewhere.

And now the down side:

1. You have to take out the garbage.

2. The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.

3. No sofas in your restrooms.

4. External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.

5. Even if you get your head caught in an industrial woodchipper, you're not allowed to cry.

6. James Bond movies only come out every two years.

7. Ribbed for her pleasure, not yours.

8. You have to wear ties.

9. You can't flirt your way out of a jam.

10. "Women and children first"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Similar Forum Topics

    • By DarkRider
      This is something I'm extremely curious about. Has anyone ever attempted to buy a quad (or any other vehicle) from an impound lot? I've always wondered if this could be a bargain, or a waste of time. Google searches do turn up some helpful results. Looks like the state of NJ holds auctions online which I'd be a bit hesitant about.
       
      My online searches haven't really turned up any results of anyone buying an ATV this way. I'd be really curious if anyone tried this, or knows someone who has. I've actually found a couple pages with online auctions for my state, but none had ATVs.
    • By mywifeknowseverythin
      For those of you who are into coffee, I found this little article that might interest some of you.

      I admit it. I am a coffee snob. I try not to be obnoxious about it, but let the record show: I enjoy a really great cup of coffee. But pay $4 a cup for it? No way. Even snobs have their limits.
      Over the years, I’ve learned that a really good cup of coffee has less to do with money and more to do with knowledge and care. In fact—and this is the amazing thing—the more I learn, the less I spend.
      BEANS. Purchase whole bean coffee as soon after it has been roasted as possible. Freshness is the key to a superb cup of coffee. Purchase in small amounts—only as much as you can use within 2 weeks of being roasted.
      RATIO. The perfect ratio of coffee beans (prior to grinding) and water is: One-half cup whole beans to 8 cups of water.
      GRIND. Grind your beans as close to brew time as possible. A burr or mill grinder that crushes the beans is preferable to a blade grinder that cuts them. Once ground, coffee should be used immediately.
      WATER. If your water is highly chlorinated use bottled or filtered water. It must be right at 200 F, just short of boiling temperature, when it hits the dry grinds. This is critical to creating a great cup of coffee. Consume immediately.
      STORE. The enemies of roasted coffee beans are air, moisture, heat and light—in that order. Keep your beans in an airtight container that is not close to moisture (sink, dishwasher), heat (oven, stove) or light (countertop). Do not store your daily coffee in the refrigerator or freezer because contact with moisture causes it to deteriorate. For larger quantities of roasted beans that you cannot use within 2 weeks, wrap in airtight bags and store for up to a month in the freezer—making sure the beans are completely protected against moisture. Once removed from the freezer, do not return.
      BUY. Most supermarkets offer high-quality, roasted coffee beans for $.60 to $1 per ounce ($9.50 - $16.00 per pound). Ouch! Discount warehouse clubs like Costco, Sam’s and B.J.’s have considerably less expensive coffee at about $9 a pound for name brands like Starbuck’s and Peet’s. Still, that’s too rich for my blood.
      ROAST. I roast my own coffee for two reasons: It is infinitely better tasting and half the price. I purchase green coffee beans by mail order for about $4 - $6 a pound, depending on current conditions and variety. I started out roasting in a popcorn popper (West Bend’s Poppery II is ideal) and have graduated to a small coffee roaster. My favorite resource for everything from roasting instructions to green coffee beans is http://www.u-roast-em.com/. Owner Jim Cameron has a wealth of knowledge and is anxious to share.
      You won’t believe how easy it is to roast coffee. And enjoyable, too. I roast only one-week’s worth at a time—about twenty minutes. Green coffee beans have an indefinite, useful shelf life of at least a year, and probably two or longer. But I’ll never know. Coffee beans just don’t last that long around my house!
    • By Suzukiquad
      If you had to choose one mod that you couldn't live without, or had to recommend one what would it be? 
    • By Mhatayas
      So here where I live in Newfoundland Canada, they let you drive your bike on the road provided it’s registered and insured same goes for crossing highways but on trails you don’t need to be insured. And I don’t even think you need a full license to insure your bike they said it was up to the insurance company. I’m trying to get my old 1985 Suzuki 250 registered they have to do a search for it to make sure it hasn’t been in anyone else’s name first. Hopefully it comes back clean I am pretty excited 
    • By afterburn
      From North Carolina here and glad to join this group.
×
×
  • Create New...