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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, when she eventually says "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to
my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to
happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,
honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction
from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she
finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
A bunch of Toys and a Truck to haul em around with.
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